A sniff is as good as a wink to a blind horse

As I’ve previously mentioned, Wednesdays are the days that Team Web puts up the new issue at TOC, and it’s also the day that the Hard Rock Cafe: Heavy Metal compilation gets a healthy amount of use.

(Sidebar: Since the White Lion Revelation, I’ve found myself paying closer attention to the lyrics on this album, as well as other cock rock classics. As such, I usually hit the skip button when “Lay It Down” by Ratt cues up since I can no longer countenance lyrics like “I’m into total affection/Not being scared if you never please me.” Let’s be honest here: how “scared” were the members of Ratt that your average groupie was going to be unable to “please” them? I’m fairly certain that this was a low-set bar. Similarly, I was also struck by the lyrics to “C’mon and Love Me” by KISS: “She’s a dancer, a romancer/I’m a Capricorn and she’s a Cancer.” KISS, where do you get your ideas?)

As such, I was listening to Lita Ford’s “Kiss My Deadly,” a song I’ve been familiar since I bought it during an early 90s excursion to the local Phar-Mor (picture a low-rent Jewel combined with the record and tape selection that approximates the catalog selections one would find at a modern-day Circuit City ) where I purchased the eponymous Lita based largely on the cover (at right) and my friend Rick’s endorsement of the Ozzy/Lita duet “Close Your Eyes Forever” which we can all agree, in retrospect, is not near as cool as we remember it being. For those whose memories fail them, here’s a sample, but it gets worse from here when the drums kick in around 2:45:

MP3 excerpt – Lita Ford and Ozzy Osboune – “Close My Eyes Forever”

This is a good lesson for all of us: never buy music based solely on the endorsement of a 16 year-old.

ANYWAY, in all my years of listening to “Kiss Me Deadly,” I never noticed the audible “sniff” that occurs at approximately 20.40 seconds into the song right after the lyric about Lita’s unfortunate, but nominal, traffic and financial difficulties. To whit:

MP3 excerpt – Lita Ford – “Kiss Me Deadly”

What’s going on there? A defiant sniffle in the face of the aforementioned patriarchal groveling? One last bit of nose candy before the rocking commences? It’s a rather minor occurrence in the overall song. In fact, you can see the audio waves created by “the sniff” barely register (note the highlighted portions below):

I used to think “Kiss Me Deadly” was a great song but I fear this “sniff” is going to lead to an obsession with it. So I’m really hoping someone can supply an explanation before it takes over my life.

3 comments for “A sniff is as good as a wink to a blind horse

  1. January 10, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    you are ruining me. i normally wouldn’t take the time to download, but i did. and i rewound (rewound?) that at least 10 times in rapid succession. and i came to the two non-conclusions you did. a pouty sniff or coke. or both. probably a pouty sniff, since if you were doing a bump, you would need a wee bit more time than is given before she launches into her next line. but what the hell is THAT all about? maybe i should just espouse *her* philosophy, and go with lita’s words of wisdom … it ain’t no big thing.

  2. Drew
    March 3, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    She did this on multiple songs. If you go back to her Dancin’ on the Edge album (which actually was a very good album), she sniffs multiple times on that album. Not sure the reason…defiance is all I can think.

  3. Sheridan
    October 22, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    So glad you posted this. It appears this famous sniff has now been edited out. I was told I didn’t know what I was talking about. It was a coke sniff for sure.

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