Category Archives: Uncategorized

Housekeeping, life updates and other bits without a natural fit

New piece

My first feature story in TOC was published this week (I’ve written a couple reviews and sidebars for them in the past). It’s about The Police, and you can find it in the Summer Music Preview issue on newsstands now, or online here (note: it stretches across five pages).

Lots of people have been asking me about the tree frog story. I swear that’s true. I remember when that was announced, so I thought it was something that a lot of people knew. I mentioned in during a features meeting, and no one had any idea. So clearly I’m a huge geek.

Seriously, am I the only one who heard that story?

Thoughts on the 24 season finale

Actually, that ought to read “Thoughts on 24‘s next season premiere” because this post is all about the future.

Almost every season since the first one, 24 fans have grumbled that this season wasn’t as good as some of the others, and inevitably the show turns around after the usual slow setup.

This season didn’t.

There was a definite build in the first half of the season, but things went off the rails a bit in episode 12 when Jack raided the Russian consulate. After that, things became too rote. You can only threaten the country with nuclear attacks or bombings or germs so many times before that happens. Or invade a sovereign nation’s consulate. Or cut off body parts, or…well, you get the idea.

Spoilers ahead, so you’ve been warned.

The last 15 minutes of tonight’s episode were better than most of the last half of this season. The great thing about Sec. Heller’s character is that he had an ability to strip things to the bone. So when Jack started the pissing contest, Sec. Heller whipped out a mirror, instead of a ruled. Jack knew his presence near Audrey would only bring her pain, and his goodbye speech to her – while not the emotional gut punch that his speech to Kim was while in the plane over the California desert in Season 2 – gave the show a weight it lacked (kudos to the writers for not having her wake up with a teary “Oh Jack…”).

The problem with this season is that the character of Jack Bauer has to have something to lose in order for there to be any dramatic tension. If he doesn’t then it’s all gun-pointing and “I’m commandeering your helicopter so get out or I’ll shoot you” any time he’s taken into custody. Throughout the show, the question that’s always lingered is whether Jack will lose his humanity. In earlier seasons, his humanity was symbolized by Terri, Kim, Blonde Girl Whose Sister Was A Terrorist, David Palmer and then Audrey. He formed loyalties with his co-workers and this kept him grouded, too, but in the past two seasons (since Tony and Michelle died), the scenes of Jack interacting with CTU have rang false since he’s now lost that as well (I’m not sure what happened to the Jack/Chloe dynamic, but I think it got lost somewhere in the love pentagon between Chloe, Morris, Milo, Nadia and Doyle).

The last scene felt tense because there was a sense that Jack had something left to lose. Now, he doesn’t. In other shows, the next season could utilize this as a device and say “Watch what happens when the gloves are off,” but 24’s all about the gloves being off. It is a gloveless universe.

So better to put the gloves back on. Remove Jack Bauer from the 24 universe, so the writers don’t have any crutches to lean on when things get boring (cough*PresidentLogan*cough). Take CTU out of the equation, and construct a new world around him. Sec. Heller said it: Jack will always find a way back into the game. He’s a man who lives for crisis, but the series has exploited the macro-level crises to their breaking points. Better to create micro-crises again that aren’t shoehorned in. (Exactly what was his prior relationship with Marilyn, and was I supposed to care?)

Also, why was it always “Ricky Schroeder” in the opening credits? Aren’t we supposed to call him “Rick” now? I couldn’t ever figure that out.

Cleanup

I finally managed to fix up the blogroll since it went all argy bargy after the move to the new Blogger template. Behold the organization!

You’ll also notice some ego-rocking over there as well, with links to my old writing at Chicagoist, Metromix and Centerstage, and to my guest spots on Filmspotting. Plus, links to the posts and video that tell the story of the time I went mano e mano with Richard Marx. I’m still waiting for him to invite me over to dinner.

A new Oblivious Living post on the highs and lows of “19” by Paul Hardcastle is on the way tonight.

From the archives

When I was doing some freelance work, I wrote a couple pieces for Centerstage Chicago as part of its “Out From Behind the Bar” series, which were interviews with local bartenders. Without getting to into Chicago’s history, this is a tavern town. Not so much now, but certainly before. There are some amazing stories out there, and it’s a shame there aren’t enough venues for them. Moreover, there wasn’t room for everything in the published pieces, and some great stories got dropped for space.

Tonight I was at the Village Tap, and ran into John Talley, who I interviewed for a BTB piece a while back. As I was sitting there tonight, I thought it was a crime that some of his stories would never see the light of day. The full interview is a lot of fun, though some of it was off the record. So here’s a combination of my original edit, combined with the piece as it originally ran.

Truth be told, the whole reason I’m posting this is for the “worst night working here” story.

Life in the Village with John Talley
Storytelling with the Village Tap’s longtime bartender

Over the past few years, strollers and dogs have replaced the gangs that used to hang out on the street corners of Roscoe Village. Yet the Village Tap – and bartender John Talley – remain.

Often cited for its award-winning, year-round beer garden, the bar resides in a space with a long, alcoholic history, dating back to the 1930s. The atmosphere changes depending on the night, or who’s behind the bar, but the warm wood and exposed brick give patrons a feeling of coming home.

Like the bar, Talley’s own history is closely tied to the neighborhood. With the exception of a yearlong motorcycle trek down to South America, he’s worked at the Village Tap for the last 13 years, not too far from where his father and grandfather grew up.

“It afforded me to go to school, to buy my own place, to take off for a year, all that kind of stuff,” he says. “In any job, that’s all you’re looking for.”

Best drink in the house: “Probably the Bloody Marys. I make my own mix. People come in and ask for that on Saturdays and Sundays, for sure. Nothing fancy. Some people like to put meats and cheeses into it, but I don’t do any of that. It’s more in the ratios. I think Bloody Marys should be spicy, but I don’t make it super spicy right away. It should have a sweet spice. Horseradish, Tabasco, steak sauce, pepper, that’s about it. I have it down to how many shakes of each I put in the mix.

The patron most likely to score a free drink is:
“Somebody that doesn’t ask for one. Or says it’s their birthday right off the bat. Anybody that’s very nice and polite and tips well the first couple of times, that’ll get you a free drink.”

Little known fact about this joint: “It’s all in what it used to be, not what it is anymore. The whole neighborhood was rough, even when I came here. I used to see kids on their bikes doing ‘bike-bys,’ getting shot. It wasn’t that long ago. When I first started here, we used to have little Pac-Man/Asteroid tabletops. Every tabletop was a video game. There used to be a bowling machine against the wall, we used to have pinball. We used to have an old English phone booth that never worked.”

For good grub before or after a shift, you hit up: “I’m so cheap, I usually just get my shift meal here before I start. I’m a sucker for the burger or I’ll usually get the special. Most of the recipes come up from Jak’s Tap. Wednesdays, I always get the pork chop. Today [Sunday] I didn’t eat the brisket. I had a BLT because someone had one back there and it looked good. I’m friends with a lot of people in the neighborhood so I’ll go over to Volo sometimes.”

When you’re not boozing here, you prefer to patronize: “I’ll go to Four Moon. Lately, because I moved to Uptown, I’ll go up to Holiday Club because I know all the people there. I don’t go to the 4 o’clock bars anymore. People say ‘What are you doing after work?’ I’m sitting right here at the end of the bar, I’m having my two shift drinks, and then I’m calling a cab and going home. I’ve been doing the microbrew thing for so long, I got burnt out on it. I’ll taste everything, but I can’t drink all the hoppy ales or it’ll stick in my mouth the whole night. So I’ll drink Guinness or a stout or a porter or Sprecher Black.”

Another bartender/owner we should know is: “Aaron Watkins, who worked here. Everybody still misses him; he was the best bartender. He passed away a couple years ago last summer. He was just open, honest, and didn’t give a fuck. Died of a really rare form of cancer; it was at stage three or four when they found it. Within a month and a half, he was dead. But he was one of the people in this bar that people would come to see all the time.”

“[And] Sparky at Four Moons Tavern. He’s been in the neighborhood forever. He got grandfathered in at Four Moon. When they sold that place – it used to be Kokopelli – one of the stipulations was that the old owner told the new owner, “You gotta keep this bartender.” He can make anything, he’s a good listener and talker. He gives sage advice. He has the persona of a professional bartender, but he’s also surly and drinks a lot while he works. So he’s what you would expect from a bartender.”

The worst night working here was:
“Two years ago, I was working when we had the TV put in. Somebody forgot to screw the top adjustment thing on. I’m bartending in here on a Saturday and we’re full. Two girls I know who are regulars are sitting at the end of the bar, watching TV when BOOM! It fell straight down on the bar in front of them and cracked. You can still see the indentation of a shot glass there. They fell off their barstools, the TV is now lying on the ground, I almost have a heart attack because it’s so loud, everybody is freaking out. I take the TV, put it in the back. About 10-15 minutes later some guy comes running from the back yelling ‘Call 911, call 911!’ And I’m like ‘No, it’s OK, everybody’s OK.’ He says ‘No, somebody just had a heart attack.’ There was a 50-year class reunion in the back and some old guy had a heart attack. So right after that happened, I had the ambulance come in and they’re wheeling a guy out in a mask. That was bad.”

The surest way to get banned from the bar is to: “Starting fights with everybody. Not literal fights, but talking shit every time you walk in the bar. Just being an ass. When you walk in and everybody moans? That can get you banned. You’re bad for business.”

If I wasn’t doing this, I’d be: “Teaching, that’s an easy one. Or travel around the world on my motorcycle. That’s what I’d be doing, dreamwise. Practicalwise, teaching. When I’m ready to retire into a career, that’s what I’ll be doing.”

God bless this poor bastard

There’s is nothing in this story that isn’t purely factual. It’s all there, pure and simple. There’s no tone of condescension, no lingering hint of pomposity.

And yet…

And yet…

Something in the story doesn’t quite jibe. There’s something there that says “I can’t believe I had to cover this. I’d rather be a library board meeting.” I couldn’t figure it out for a while, and then I realized it:

He never tells us the winner’s last name. All the other contestants get last names. The winner? Not so much. Well played, Chris Hack. Well played.

Also, I’m resisting the urge to go for the easy joke on this cat’s name, because, frankly, that story is a silk purse from a sow’s ear if I ever read one. But if I was him, I’d see if I could convince the Web Editor (hint hint) to put a line break after my name so my byline didn’t read “hack staff writer.”

Video vulgarity hilarity

This first clip is via the gents at Filmspotting, an excellent movie review podcast I’ve been lucky enough to co-host with Adam Kempenaar on the rare occasions when his excellent partner-in-film Sam VanHallgren has been out of town. It’s got local boy Adam McKay and Will Ferrell facing down Ferrell’s hellacious landlord.

And then there’s this not-safe-for-work-unless-you’ve-got-
headphones clip, which had me laughing so hard today that it felt like my face was melting like that Nazi at the end of Raiders. Oddly enough, it’s rather instructive.

Hitting the walls and working the middle, indeed.